Anger

“All anger is a tragic manifestation of unmet needs”
- Marshall Rosenberg

What’s the best thing you can do when someone is angry with you?

Nothing.

Well, not quite...
When someone is angry with you, there is no point whatsoever in trying to get them to understand your version of the situation. They will not hear you because in that moment, they want to be heard.

Until they are ready to hear you, it is best not to push your ‘reality’ onto them. Keep your version and intentions to yourself. Do not try to put them right (even if you feel they are totally wrong) or to justify yourself. It is totally pointless. You will only fuel their belief in their version of events; when in anger, we cannot shift what we believe to be ‘right’.

Listen to them, their frustration and pain, hear what they are really saying, feeling, and needing.

When they have calmed down, they may eventually ask or will be open to you bringing up the issue. This could be hours, weeks or months. Be patient and know your turn to be heard comes quicker when you give empathy. Simply acknowledge (guess) their state; i.e ‘are you feeling really angry/furious/pissed off right now? Because you want some respect/space/choice/help/clarity/assurance etc?’

You do not have to agree or disagree with them. Acknowledging what’s going on with them in that moment is a good alternative to just walking away.

Equally, try not to act out of anger; you are likely to regret your actions and certainly make things worse.

Interested in finding out more?

Check out NonViolent Communication and my courses at www.rivcarubin.com

Rivca Rubin: Scheduled Public Courses 2007 - 2008 (by title)

Communicating with Clarity

A Three Day Course
with Day One also available as a Stand Alone Option

November 15th - 17th
February 7th - 9th

Your Creative Drive: Beyond the Habitual

A Three Day Course specifically for Artists, Designers, Musicians, Filmmakers, Choreographers, Directors, Devisors, Writers

February 29th, March 1st 2008

The Leadership Dynamic

Our new highly successful three day guest course for leaders and managers, running for the third time! With Deborah Barnard & Rivca Rubin.

January 24th, 25th & February 28th 2008

The CreativeCoach™ certificated practitioner


(15 days intensive training total + 50 hours distance learning/praxis)

Foundation - Communicating with Clarity (or equivalent training with Rivca) - for dates see above

Practitioner - Spring through Summer 2008, 10 training days - date will be set shortly

Certification - September 2008, 2 dates to be set with the participants

We will soon be will be launching a brand new series of fortnightly 1 day Intensives @ LeveL/Manchester covering - Interpersonal Communication, Conflict, Creative Thinking, Coaching, Leadership, Management -

For information and costs please contact:

clarity@rivcarubin.com
0161 374 2353

Our courses are held at our new creative meeting space LeveL in the heart of Manchester's Bohemia - the Northern Quarter.

Rivca Rubin, a highly experienced trainer, facilitator and coach, specializes in developing people and teams particularly in the Creative Industries, Higher Education and the Restorative Justice Sector.

Rivca Rubin: Scheduled Public Courses 07 (by date)

Your Creative Drive: Beyond the Habitual

May 17-19 Next Availability to be confirmed

The Leadership Dynamic

June 14-15, July 13

Communicating with Clarity

June 28-30

Communicating with Clarity

August 22-24

The CreativeCoach™
'Commmunicating with Clarity' or equivalent is required for enrolment.

August 25 start
completion Feb 08

For information and costs please contact:
clarity@rivcarubin.com
0161 374 2353

Our courses are held at our new creative meeting space LeveL in the heart of Manchester's Bohemia - the Northern Quarter.

Rivca Rubin, a highly experienced trainer, facilitator and coach, specializes in developing people and teams particularly in the Creative Industries, Higher Education and the Restorative Justice Sector.

Rivca Rubin: Effective Communication Realised

OPPORTUNITIES will be presented here from time to time.

IDEAS will be discussed here.

And RIVCA RUBIN will develop a web presence here.

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